Different is trouble for you only

Here is one of my favorite clips ever found on the internet:



First of all I love it because that was Mama Cass and I adore her golden, glorious voice.

Second, I love the sentiment she sings. I was thinking about this because of my SIL Lisa's recent post about her thoughts in response to a book she just read. Apparently the book has a lot to say on being different, or feeling different. I can get that. I've always felt different. It took me a while to accept it, but it's even become a compliment. While on my mission one elder who was soon to be my new companion asked a sister who had served around me and who was on her way home what I was like - her resonse was, "He's the most differentest person ALIVE!" That makes me feel very good.

But there have been times when it's felt more like a burden than anything. I admit that I'm wont to compare myself to others. I often do it with my brothers and sisters. Years ago, when I was first coming out to myself, it was right around the time my brother and sister were marrying. It hurt more than a little bit to watch them, and wonder why I couldn't have that too. I felt like if I could just be the same as Peter and Abby I wouldn't let my mom and dad down. I pursued (as far as I could...) a relationship with my friend Christy in an attempt to be the "same" as my siblings, as my peers, as society. It didn't work, and I was never happy.

I often wished I could be different, better, handsomer, smarter, more advantaged. Why oh why did I have to fall in love with Linguistics as a major, when I could have done something normal, like accounting, and had a normal job, and a normal income, and a "normal" life. If I could just have been more "normal" would I currently be happier?

I truly believe the answer to that is no.

Yes, I'm different. I may be incomprehensible to some people. I may seem like I make erratic choices. But, and it's relatively recently I've learned this, I'm living MY life, not a life for others. So what if most people don't get me? I do, and maybe a few other people do, and that's great. I am unique. I am special. Maybe (definitely) not to the whole world, like some I know aspire to, but I'm special to me, because I like me, and I know what it took to BECOME me. I please me; I value me.

No mater what kind of different a person is, it can be hard and lonely, as Mama Cass sings. But I echo what she says next: "I'd rather be different than be the same."